Hey, y’all. As we head to Dallas to play the Cowboys this weekend, there are a few things I want to get off my chest.
First: I want to thank you for your outpouring of support for me after my injury last week. In my column next week, I’ll tell you all about how I’m getting stronger every day, and how determined I am to come back soon, better than ever.
But before that, there’s something heavy on my heart that I want to share with you. I know Birds’ fans love to hate on Dallas – I get it. But off the field, those guys are just humans like the rest of us. And I was absolutely devastated when I heard that the Cowboys’ defensive end, Marshawn Kneeland, died by suicide on November 6. I can only imagine how Marshawn’s family and teammates are feeling. Any time someone dies by suicide, it makes me realize how much more work we all have to do to stop this from happening.
That’s why I want to tell you about the work the Cowboys’ defensive tackle Solomon Thomas (who has trained at the Bro Barn, my at-home training center) is doing through his nonprofit, The Defensive Line.
In 2018, Solly lost his beloved sister, Ella, to suicide. She was 24. He and Ella had been best friends their whole lives. They grew up together around the world, in Chicago and Australia and Texas; he’d always looked up to her. She was at his college football games at Stanford, and right by his side at the 2017 draft — in Philly — and was his biggest supporter.
When Ella died, Solly couldn’t shake his feelings of grief and depression. At the time, he was playing for the 49ers, and thankfully his mom asked the team to get him the therapy he needed and deserved. From there, he and his heartbroken parents, Chris and Martha, decided to start The Defensive Line to help put an end to suicide. Their focus: reaching the people who work with kids — like teachers and coaches, at high schools and colleges — to help them recognize warning signs, like major behavioral and mood shifts, and teach them what to do and where to get more help. They had learned that, every week in the U.S., 119 youth under the age of 24 die by suicide — and they wanted to change that number, to help anyone they could avoid the crushing pain they felt.
Solly’s parents are nothing short of incredible. Martha spent decades as a teacher and coach, and knew how impactful teachers could be. “We’re not trying to make teachers mini-therapists, or anything like that,” she says. She knows firsthand that teachers already have so much on their plates. “But we want to allow them to have the language to safely talk to kids, to be a safe place for them.”
Working with suicide prevention experts from New York University and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Martha created materials for educators in school districts around the country and at colleges like University of Virgnia and Stanford. As part of the materials, she used the word “D-LINES” to create this acronym for educators:
D: DON’T ignore your gut
L: LISTEN to the signs
I: INTERACT
N: NAME your concern
E: EVIDENCE your concern
S: create a SAFE and SUPPORTIVE environment
The Defensive Line especially wants to reach students of color, who are disproportionately — to a dramatic degree — affected by suicide. Since 2018, the suicide rate for students of color is up 54 percent; for white students, it’s down 17 percent. “We want everybody’s rate to go down,” Chris says. If you look at Black adolescent suicide rates since 2007, it’s up 144 percent. On top of that, according to the Youth Risk Behaviors Survey, 42 percent of high school students say they’re feeling sad or hopeless, 1 out of 4 high school students have thought about suicide, and among LGBTQ students, one out of 1 has attempted suicide.
We have to stop this. Chris and Martha say that we can. “There is hope. People can make a difference,” Chris says. He believes all districts should have training — and not just one-off, 15-minute passive videos, but ongoing, data-backed lessons on how to safely and effectively help. He believes we need to take action, doing things like calling our legislators to insist they mandate and fund 988, and holding regular mental health community events, and busting the myths about suicide. “Part of making a difference,” he says, “is just having conversations.”
I agree with all of that. We need to remove the taboo around talking about suicide. We need to acknowledge that mental health issues affect everyone — no matter how rich or poor you are, no matter where you live or what race you are. Everyone’s struggle may be unique — but just the fact that we all have some kind of struggle is what binds, and bonds, us together.
Don’t ever forget that no matter what you’re going through, you don’t have to do it alone. You can call 911 or 988 if you’re in crisis, you can text the Crisis Text Line at 741741, you can go to The Defensive Line website for more resources, and you can reach out to National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) wherever you live, to get local resources and information. There is always something you can do.
I want to extend my sincere condolences to everyone who knew and loved Marshawn Kneeland. I want to thank Solomon Thomas for using his platform to remove the secrecy and shame around suicide. And I want to thank you all for your compassion for me. It may sound corny, but let’s all try to do one thing today to extend our compassion to others, to remember that everyone out there is struggling — and that a little kindness can go a long way.
If you’re in crisis or having thoughts of suicide, call 911 or 988, or text Crisis Text Line at 741741. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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