I’ve never been a fan of Christmas music. Call me a Grinch, but the whole genre of music brings down the vibes of the holiday season. There’s nowhere you can escape it. It’s all fa-la-la this and merrily merrily that and it makes me sick! It’s enough to turn me into Scrooge, Jr.
But you know what I would never Bah-humbug? The best team in all of football: The Philadelphia Eagles.
For the third year in a row, The Philly Specials, including former Eagle Jason Kelce and current Eagles Lane Johnson and Jordan Mailata, teamed up with The War On Drugs’ Charlie Hall to produce their third and final Christmas Album. (The band name pays tribute to my — and your — personal favorite Eagles play, the Philly Special, run by my hero, our former backup quarterback Nick Foles in that unforgettable Super Bowl LII.)
Through their work, The Philly Specials et al. have donated a whopping $4.5 million to local charities with their first two albums. This year’s proceeds will go to Children’s Crisis Treatment Center’s Holiday Toy Drive and Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia’s Snowflake Station, and The Fund For The School District of Philadelphia for Operation Snowball— an initiative to give every student in the District a gift this holiday season.
But what about the music? I’ve listened to the 12 Christmas songs, and am here to give you my unfiltered take on them. Maybe along the way I’ll catch the Christmas spirit. Or maybe I’ll learn to … dislike the Eagles too?
To rate the songs, I’ll be utilizing my foolproof, empirically-researched rating scale: The Nick Sirianni Super Bowl Tear Scale. With one Nick Sirianni Super Bowl tear being a dud and five Sirianni Super Bowl tears being an absolute banger.
Side A
This just feels cruel. Kicking off their album with Last Christmas when some of us are trying to win Whamageddon is downright vindictive! (Fellow Christmas music haters will know the annual competition, but if you aren’t spiritually an old curmudgeon like me, I’ll bring you up to speed. Whamageddon is a yearly survival style competition of who can go the longest without being forced to listen to Wham!’s instant earworm Last Christmas between Black Friday and Christmas.)
It’s nearly impossible to win, unless you live under a rock, because this song is as overplayed as it is cheesy. And now, here, the first freaking Christmas bop I hear all year nearly destroys my chances. I’ll grant The Philly Specials a little bit of slack. They did release this a week before Whamageddon officially begins.
But: I admire Jordan Mailata as much as I detest this song. Although the original is gag (me with a spoon)-worthy, The Philly Specials’ version strips the source material of a hefty amount of its 80s cringe and brings it a smidge closer to the modern era.
With much love to the late 80s pop icon, Jordan Malita simply sings this song better than George Michael ever did. It’s smoother, lighter and most definitely apt for the denouement of a Hallmark Christmas movie.
The Philly Specials add a full 90 seconds more to this song with a pleasant instrumental break. It’s a jazzy ensemble of saxophone, synth and percussion, reminding us that they didn’t just set out to cover Christmas music. They set out to elevate it.
RATING: 3 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
A great way to get the ball rolling. Even if it is with a cover of the worst Christmas song ever.
Now it’s the Birds’ veteran offensive lineman Lane Johnson’s time to shine. The Philly Specials take the overplayed Christmas tune and make it part-beachy-part-country by heavily featuring a steel guitar, a violin and Southern-twang vocals from the Texas native.
Admittedly there’s not a ton to say about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer that hasn’t already been said countless times about the old caribou and his rags to riches journey.
Reindeer games … maybe there’s something there with the Pro Bowl? Lane Johnson’s been five times, after all. Or maybe when he says, “they never let poor Rudolph, Join in any reindeer games,” he’s really talking about how many times he’s been accused of a false start because he’s just so fast. OH! I know. When he says “Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say …” He’s really talking about when he was picked as the first round fourth-overall draft pick in 2013!
Nope, I’m reaching. It’s just another Christmas cover. A fun one at that. It’s giving Honky Tonk Christmas vibes. I envision this jam being a hit amongst the kiddos but maybe a little too … dare I say … on the nose for my tastes.
RATING: 2 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
Like most of these songs, I’d take this over what I hear ad-nauseam on B101.1 anyday. But unlike some of their past songs, it’s not enough to turn me over to the Christmas-song-loving darkside. One thing is for sure, like Rudolph, Lane Johnson will go down in history — as one of the greatest Eagles offensive tackles of all time.
A break from the classic Christmas music top 40, and I am here for it! And dare I say, it may be my new Eagles tailgate anthem? A certified bop with no overt Christmas call-outs all about having a party, dancing to the music and a mention of mashed potatoes — exactly how I want my holidays and football pregame festivities to go.
For this jam, The Philly Specials enlisted Delco native singer / songwriter Devon Gilfillian, whose voice is just as beautifully buttery as Mailata’s.
Jordan, don’t be shy. Go ahead and drop that solo album we’ve all been waiting for. Fill it with tracks just like this, and you’ll be at the top of charts in no time.
RATING: 4 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
A celebratory song that I can listen to all year long. Thanks, Jordan. More of this please!
My absolute favorite part of the first two The Philly Specials albums were the Easter eggs sprinkled throughout for diehard Eagles fans. Which is why when I heard Eagles offensive line coach Jeff Stoutland, affectionately referred to as “Stout” on the track, I nearly jumped for joy.
I had my trepidations about a cover of Alvin and the Chipmunks’ Christmas Don’t Be Late (not to get all Grinchy again), but this is yet another Christmas tune that makes my skin crawl. The original does feature high-pitched bleetings from cartoon chipmunks after all.
Before I hit play, I wondered: How could three burly men … cover chipmunks? By turning it on its head and transforming it into a smooth trio, that’s how!
Jeff Stoutland coaching Jason Kecle in the studio just like he did on the field warms my heart. Our trio bickers a bit with Stoutland with him pushing them to sing better and get back to practice which includes nods to Philly sports lore with callbacks to Allen Iverson’s iconic “practice” line and Stoutland’s famous influential mantra repeated by Kelce in his post-Super Bowl obscenity-laden speech: “Hungry dogs run faster.”
RATING: 4 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
It’s touching to see the Jason Kelce / Jeff Stoutland duo reunite. Though hard to believe now, there was a time when pitchforks were directed at our beloved former center. After a bad 2016 season, many wanted him out — pronto. Kelce credits Jeff Stoutland for keeping our Prince of South Philly in midnight green and becoming one of the greatest centers of all time. Now, we can also thank him for making sure Kelce doesn’t get pitchy.
It took 2 seconds of this song before I nearly did a literal spit take. By now, we know Jordan Mailata can sing. Nonetheless, he finds new ways to knock my socks off.
I always found Feliz Navidad to be slightly grating: It tends to get stuck in your head and stay there well after Christmas. Something about it being so repetitive and overly upbeat makes it stick and not in a good way.
Turns out, there’s an easy fix: Slow it down just a smidge, add in harmonies from Harlem-based jazz vocalist Emily Braden, a boisterous chorus, and let Jordan Mailtata do his thing.
The results? Perfection.
RATING: 4 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
A surprising frontrunner for favorite song on the album has emerged!
A sentence I never thought I’d utter: Iconic songstress Stevie Nicks teams up with former football player Jason Kelce to produce a Christmas song so popular that the week it was released it ousted the “Queen of Christmas” Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas from number one on the top 100 chart.
On paper it doesn’t make sense, but in practice, the two actually have very similar voices. Both raspy, full of heart and reminiscent of an older loved one quietly humming you a song to sleep. They work perfectly together.
Watching behind the scenes of this recording, it’s endearing to see Kelce get flustered by teaming up with Nicks. Kelce calls it his “dream come true.” Who amongst us wouldn’t want to be coached by the eight-time Grammy winning singer?
And how impressive is it that Kelce didn’t just do a marvelous job but actually created a beautiful duet with one of the GOATs of Rock & Roll? Nicks sums it up perfectly by dubbing it “Jason’s Landslide.”
RATING: 5 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
For those of us who grew up in the crossover of Kelce fandom and Steve Nicks fandom, this isn’t just a touchdown, this is a touchdown with a game-winning two point conversion.
Side B
The first original song on the album, and it’s written by Zach Miller of legendary Philly band Dr. Dog, so we know we’re in for a treat.
Wait … I’m sorry … what’s this … hometown R&B heroes Boyz II Men featured in a Christmas song … ABOUT CLEVELAND?! Sacrilegious! Did I miss the part where this was an album by Browns players? How dare they!
Phew … that competitive Eagles fan nature sure does rear its ugly head at the drop of a hat, doesn’t it? I’m resolved to forgive Kelce for this one. As much as we’d like to think of him as a tried and true Philly boy he has roots elsewhere. So what if he wants to flex some hometown pride?
The Philly Specials once again team up with Jason’s little bro, Kansas City Chiefs’ tight end Travis Kelce. Now, let me preface this by saying, I am staunchly anti-Chiefs. I don’t like a team that wins the Super Bowl over and over again (unless it’s the Eagles of course) and I especially don’t like a team that beats us in the Super Bowl. But I love me some Travis Kelce.
There’s something special about the way Travis looks up to his big brother the same way Philadelphians do. Plus, his melodious vocal chords are just as impressive as his ability to catch a Mahomes pass in a nail-biter. Travis and all the swagger that comes with him blends nicely with Boyz II Men. The smooth R&B track is a nostalgic quasi-love song all about their hometown, the lives they may have had if they stayed and what it feels like to return for the holiday season.
RATING: 2.5 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
But I am still a little salty that this isn’t about Philly. I’m a simple girl. Add a line or two about it being “Christmas time in South Philly” and the rating goes up.
Another original song, and this time it’s Philly’s unofficial king and queen teaming up for a sentimental lullaby-like tune all about the quiet life of empty nesting. The song is a celebration of the family Jason and his wife Kylie have created together. (It’s about to get bigger too. The couple announced this past weekend that they are expecting their fourth child.)
It’s Kylie’s breakout musical moment, and she doesn’t disappoint. The part-graceful part-badass Philly-area native nails it with her sweet soprano voice. It’s a refreshing new Christmas song with the potential to become a classic amongst lovebirds. So step aside Johnny Cash and June Carter, there’s a new married couple country music duo gracing our ears with their delicate harmonies.
RATING: 4 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
While surely lamenting that their kids are all grown may be tad premature knowing that another Kelce offspring is expected in 2025, it’s touching to see the pairs bond on display in musical fashion.
Oh look! Another slow rock and roll jam for Mailata to flex his vocal range on. I know this is the last Christmas Album we’ll see from The Philly Specials but maybe Mailata would commit to a solo act? He is the antidote to every cheesy Christmas song. At this point, adding his swoon-worthy vocals is a public service!
This song doesn’t deviate too much from the source material, and it doesn’t need to. Mailata’s voice lends itself well to the original song’s bluesy soft rhythm.
Fun fact: Our Eagles aren’t the only Eagles to cover this song. The Eagles (the band) released their own cover of this classic Christmas song back in 1978.
RATING: 3 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
Will I let myself think that The Philly Specials covered this song only because of The Eagles well-known cover? You bet I will.
Let’s take a moment to cherish the real musicians The Philly Specials have teamed up with to make these albums. They could have easily pushed out a handful of quickly recorded songs and still make a ton of money since the star power is the real selling point. But our beloved Birds don’t half-ass anything. By teaming up with some of the city’s finest musicians and letting Hall re-take the helm as producer, they’ve churned out a truly impressive musical motif. We’ve seen jazzy Christmas, we’ve seen honky tonk and country christmas, now with Sleigh Ride, we see big band Christmas.
For those of us who grew up in the crossover of Kelce fandom and Steve Nicks fandom, this isn’t just a touchdown, this is a touchdown with a game-winning two point conversion.
The arrangement actually feels like a dashing race through snowy peaks and valleys. Somehow they’ve managed to turn Sleigh Ride into an actual sleigh ride. It’s a reminder that there isn’t a single concession that listeners have to take when popping on The Philly Special’s Christmas album. They are all legitimately enjoyable songs. Well produced, clean and pleasant.
RATING: 4 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
The song is a thrilling adventure full of excitement and joy … just like our soon to be playoff run.
The Philly Specials join together with local rock band Mt. Joy to put a spin on the latters breakout song Astrovan. It’s not quite a cover, but let’s call it a spinoff. It’s an indie-instant classic all about a doobie smokin,’ Astrovan-driving Santa dropping gifts off from kids rollin’ down Broad and Pattison. It’s a very Philly Christmas, indeed!
“Son, you’re famous in Philly/ You’ll always be famous in Philly/And you know you’ll always be winnin/ When you’re comin’ home for Christmas.”
The symbiotic relationship between Kelce and Philadelphians is on full display. We will always ardently celebrate the man who gave us a Super Bowl ring and in return, Jason Kelce celebrates our city. With this song, he does just that.
I’ve seen some playful jabs made at Kecle about his vocal prowess. Perhaps what comes a little more naturally to Johnson and Mailata isn’t as easy for him. While I’d posit that Kelce has a lovely airy singing voice, Santa Drives an Astrovan proves to any naysayers that his musical skills stand firmly in the realm of rock and roll. Whodathought? Guttural raspy shouting is Jason Kelce’s calling card.
RATING: 5 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
It took 30 seconds into this song to achieve that rating. It’s that magnificent. The music video is a must watch. Nothing better than seeing Kelce howl out his window while driving aimlessly around Philly passing murals of himself along the way.
When I saw the tracklist for this album, I quipped to my friends that I’d probably cry to this song. And boy was I right!
It’s not a Christmas song, but it is the only song they could have ended this journey with.
The Parting Glass is a traditional Scottish song meant to be sung amongst friends at the ends of gatherings. The “parting glass” is the last glass you drink from when it’s time to wrap things up and head home. It’s a final gift of hospitality to say “thanks for the good times, travel safely, friend.”
We know that we won’t get more Christmas tunes from The Philly Specials. We won’t get another game at the Linc with Jason Kelce on the field. Lane Johnson will likely retire soon. An era in Philly sports ends with this song.
Much of the Eagles’ identity for the past handful years has been wrapped up in Jason Kelce. Deservingly so, I can’t think of a better person to be our Prince of Philadelphia. He’s a family man who isn’t afraid to get emotional. He gives flowers to those who helped him along the way. And his beer-chugging, pong-playing, joke-cracking self sends a message far and wide: Spread joy wherever you can. Most importantly, he uses his free time to gather his friends to make Christmas albums with all proceeds going to Philadelphians in need.
RATING: 5 out of 5 Nick Sirianni tears
All the comrades you’ve had are indeed sorry for “your going away,” 62. Thanks for all the good times, it’s been a helluva era.
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