It’s a Sunday morning in mid-April, and 300 women, most of them in their 20s, are gathered in Washington Square Park. Picnic blankets are strewn across the grass, laughter drifting between the groups seated atop each one. Scattered over each blanket lies a kaleidoscope of craft supplies, colorful assortments of various yarns, stickers, sketchbooks, and watercolors trading hands. Over homemade cupcakes and neon cans of Poppi soda, attendees of Dessert Before Dinner’s bring-your-own craft meetup shape their own creative community.

Madison Seidel, the founder of Dessert Before Dinner, considers the initiative a social club for creative girls in Philly. After moving to Philadelphia last August, Seidel says that she recognized how intimidating it could be to build friendships in a big city. Having never done or participated in anything similar before, she decided to take inspiration from other social clubs she had seen online to cultivate her own kind of third space in Philly.

Today is the group’s second craft meetup, and judging by the hugs, compliments and overall warmth being exchanged, it’s clear Seidel is filling not just her own need — but also that of hundreds of other Philadelphia women.

DIY-ing community and friendships

Seidel is a 24-year old PA native who moved to Philadelphia from her hometown of Reading to be with her boyfriend. In addition to running Dessert Before Dinner, she works a full-time job in administration.

Seidel vividly recalls the club’s first craft meetup. Her own family, who made 200 chocolate cupcakes to share with the group, and a local student ambassador for the soda brand Poppi helped supply refreshments. Not knowing many people in the area, Seidel turned to social media to bring in interested Philadelphians, posting online and hoping that the algorithm would work in her favor.

“I was a little bit nervous, but I was like, Everything’s gonna be fine. I kept promoting stuff on Tiktok and Instagram, just kind of hoping that it would reach the right people. I made that little RSVP link and just posted it everywhere,” she recalls.

Seidel’s efforts worked. After more than 300 people attended her first event at Washington Square, Dessert Before Dinner’s Instagram following grew by more than 1,000 and is, as of this posting, at over 9,000. The club also operates through a chat space on the Geneva app, where more than 800 users have been able to connect outside of in-person meetups. In an era where digital communities are sometimes the most accessible ones, Seidel has expertly leveraged social media to welcome audiences into the world she is creating.

“I think the Philly social scene is pretty good, but the only problem I have is not being aware of things that are happening,” Juliet Jacob, an attendee of the club’s first event, says. “Dessert Before Dinner is awesome because Maddie is using various social medias to promote her group. She makes a ton of videos and posts about upcoming events and incorporates trends into it to get it out to as many people as possible.”

The whimsical, wholesome nature of the name Dessert Before Dinner — a nod to Seidel’s love of sweet treats — shows through in the online presence that she has curated. On the club’s Instagram and TikTok pages, matcha lattes, colorful graphics, and vintage cakes set the tone. Meanwhile, through candid vlogs and day in the life videos, Seidel personally invites those who pass by her profiles to get to know her.

“I think sharing these aspects of my own life and experience living in Philly improves my ability to connect with my club members by allowing them to know me better and have a glimpse into who I am as a whole,” Seidel explains. “While I am the face of the club, I always want to be approachable and relatable and to feel like a friend to everyone.”

Although Seidel designed Dessert Before Dinner as a women’s social club, she says it’s also open to transgender and non-binary individuals. “I want to make sure that it’s very inclusive and people feel safe.” She explains that her main mission is to make all participants feel welcome, helping them to form good connections with other people and express themselves creatively.

Coinciding with her goal to keep the club accessible, Seidel says that she hopes to keep Dessert Before Dinner events as low-cost as possible. As such, all of the initiative’s craft meetups are free and open to the public. Other events that provide supplies to participants — such as the club’s Old City bouquet making pop-up — have tickets that typically range from $10 to $15.

A solution to the loneliness epidemic

In-person relationships are what make Dessert Before Dinner special — vital, even. As cities across the U.S. struggle with the disappearance of third spaces — public areas where socialization can occur outside of home or work — opportunities to find connections are increasingly rare. This phenomenon has exacerbated the sentiments of isolation and despondency that have been magnified since Covid quarantines. Initiatives like Seidel’s are fighting an epidemic of loneliness so extreme the Surgeon General declared it a public health crisis in 2023.

In a period characterized by The Atlantic as “The Anti-Social Century,” chances for real-life connection are on a steep decline. Investments in technology — and, comparatively, solitary tools like phones, video games and TV — have come at the cost of the public spaces that have traditionally fostered community.

While sentiments of isolation are rising among the general population, they are uniquely experienced among young adults. Studies show that loneliness frequently peaks during three key ages — including during individuals’ late 20s — Dessert Before Dinner’s primary demographic. “Being in your twenties can be really lonely, especially when it comes to making friends,” Juliet Jacob notes. “I believe Dessert Before Dinner is an amazing community building club for young women in the Philly area to make human connections.”

Emma Thompson, another member of the Dessert Before Dinner community, echoes this sentiment. “I moved here from South Carolina a little over a year ago, and it’s been a nightmare finding any friends,” Thompson explains. “Dessert Before Dinner is a godsend for people new to the city because it crosses the hardest threshold in my opinion of making new friends — finding something in common.”

The importance of third spaces — and people using them

According to Dr. Hamil Pearsall, a professor of geography, environment and urban studies at Temple University, public spaces hold essential roles in human socialization as places for developing connections with new and diverse groups of people.

“Interacting with strangers on a regular basis is important for practicing civility in society. I think there’s been some reflection on how people are losing that ability simply because they’re not out and about in public space, and they’re not having those daily interactions with people who are very different from them, who they might not otherwise be seeing or inviting over to their home or seeing within their their social circles,” Pearsall explains.

Although Seidel uses social media to expand Dessert Before Dinner’s reach, the club’s in-person events are what truly offer what many people have been missing — fundamental opportunities to connect with new people in real life.

“I don’t know about a ton of third spaces in Philly,” she says. “I just thought, based on the initial post that I put out, it seems like there’s a big interest and a need for this here. So I think that increasing community in any way, and being able to bring businesses and people together, is something that everyone can benefit from.” In addition to park meetups, the club has also previously collaborated with local vintage stores Elektra Vintage and Ace Outpost to host its events.

What’s more, Pearsall says, events like Seidel’s contribute to the revitalization of public spaces.

“The more that we can see these places being used, I think it’ll make people more excited to use them,” Pearsall says. “Like hey, I could come here for a picnic, or I can invite my group of friends to come and hang out, or we could host a social event here. So absolutely, I think holding those types of events has a really positive impact on the broader community.”

Despite Dessert Before Dinner being relatively new, it has already garnered a dedicated following of members who say they have found new friendships within the club. Emma Thompson characterizes the club’s first event by its unique vitality and vibrant atmosphere.

“It was an amazing energy, all these women gathering in one spot with the same goal of meeting other women and working on crafts,” Thompson says. “It reminded me of being a kid and going out to recess with your friends and sharing your snacks and gossip. It was just so lively.”

Although her monthly park meetups have been met with substantial success, Seidel isn’t planning on stopping there. On May 1, Dessert Before Dinner held a bracelet-making workshop at Moon + Arrow, a Fabric Row boutique selling handmade and eco-friendly products. On May 25, it will hold a gift swap in Washington Square.

Amidst the tense headlines, the day-to-day pressures of life, and the busyness and bustle of city life, Dessert Before Dinner has become a sort of haven for the things that we often forget matter. Beyond being a craft club, it is a space for women to find joy in being in Philadelphia, being creative — and, above all, being with each other.

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