You may have seen the recent article in The Athletic, The New York Times’ sports section, titled: “Michael Phelps, Jay Glazer bonded over mental health. It became a star-studded support system.”
I smiled when I saw it, because Michael Phelps was a huge part of my own mental health journey. I remember back in 2015 when he first publicly shared his struggles with anxiety and depression. It made me feel so much less alone to think that the most accomplished Olympian in history also battled some of the same monsters I did.
See, going back as far as high school, I started having awful anxiety. I didn’t know the name for it then, or why I was feeling the way I was. I just knew that every morning I woke up so panicked, I had to throw up. My feelings only intensified when I went off to junior college and then the University of Oklahoma. If you’ve never had a panic attack, it feels like you’re having a heart attack. My hands would shake. I’d be nauseated. I couldn’t focus.
It’s said that about 50 to 60 percent of NFL players have some kind of mental health disorder. If that many guys playing a sport at the highest level have mental health needs, just think how many people you know probably do, too.
Worst of all, I felt so much shame feeling this way. I didn’t want to tell anyone, or even know what to say if I did. I was supposed to be this big, tough guy, capable of handling anything. But the pressure I put on myself was relentless. This was also around the time the iPhone came out and social media picked up. Athletes’ social media highlight reels started to become more and more commonplace. I was constantly comparing myself to everyone else.
It wasn’t until one day as a student at Oklahoma when my roommate at the time — a great friend named Josh New — told me about his own anxiety struggles, that I felt a huge weight lifted. Because of Josh, I took my first step to getting help: I went to the student mental health center, and started my journey to get the therapy, medicine and other tools that have helped me.
When Michael Phelps went public with his own mental health struggles in a Sports Illustrated article, it changed everything. Soon after, Kevin Love of the NBA came out with his own struggles. Love has this great quote: “You can’t achieve your way out of this.” I completely related to that; it didn’t matter how high I climbed in sports or how much I could achieve — as long as I tried to run from this monster of anxiety, the bigger it got.
First round to the Eagles
In 2013, I remember feeling so proud that I was a first-round draft pick, selected fourth overall for the Eagles, with the honor of playing in the greatest sports city. For someone like me, from such a small town (my graduating class was just over 30 kids!), to make it that far, felt like a dream come true. But just as soon as that excitement bubbled up, so too did the pressure and fear. When you’re a first-round draft pick, you’re always going to be a target for the fans and media, always going to be labeled either a boom or a bust.
Thankfully, the best thing about the Eagles isn’t even what happens on the field — it’s the sense of brotherhood and support that happens in our locker room. I was able to talk to Brandon Graham about my feelings; I was able to open up to Jason Kelce, to Coach Sirianni, to Coach Stoutland. I started working with Nick Saban’s mentor, a psychiatrist named Lionel Rosen (Google him — he looks like Dumbledore).
Working with Lionel, or Lonnie as I call him, changed my life yet again. Through him, I started my journey to mental health. He helped me learn how to calm my mind. I practice meditation; I listen to music. I avoid scrolling on my phone and social media. I truly believe that what you practice is what you become good at — and if we all stay so addicted to our phones, soon enough we won’t be able to think anymore!
The best thing about the Eagles isn’t even what happens on the field — it’s the sense of brotherhood and support that happens in our locker room.
I think back to 2021 — between ankle injuries and my struggles with navigating my anxiety meds, I almost walked away from football. But I wasn’t truly ready to retire — I was just looking to hide, to isolate myself. It’s something a lot of people with mental health struggles do.
Now I also work with another sports psychologist, Brian Cain, who has helped me see that we have to get back to practicing good habits. I need to have routines and to-do lists. And I need to have support. Coach Stoutland likes to say that no man is an island, that we draw our strength from others. And I firmly believe that. I’m a dad now, and I want to model that for my kids. I’m a veteran in the locker room, and I want to model that for the younger players. I also want to model that it’s an ongoing process — we all need to be constantly working to grow.
It’s also a really important part of my journey for me to help others — and that’s where this column comes in. I want anyone out there who’s struggling with mental health to know that you’re not alone. At least one study found that about 50 percent of NFL players have some kind of mental health disorder. Thankfully, the league has continued to recognize and talk about mental health — every team in the league now has a sports psychologist on staff. And if that many guys playing a sport at the highest level have mental health needs, just think how many people you know probably do too.
So it’s really important to me to keep talking about mental health. Just like seeing Michael Phelps and other athletes come forward helped me feel less alone, I want everyone else out there to feel less alone. To see that we’re all more alike than we are different. To understand that there are only so many things in life we can control — and that’s where we should use our energy.
This season, I’m excited to bring this column to you every week, to spotlight organizations and people in Philly and on the road who are making a difference in the world of mental health. So stay tuned for my upcoming columns, take good care of yourself, check in with someone you haven’t heard from in a while and, of course … Go Birds!
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